The Dog Diet
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LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE…TAKE BARKING ONES TO DAYCARE!

Sadie and I sold our house. The packing, scavenging for boxes, sales, and decisions seemed like they would never end, but they did and there we were alone in a big empty house the night before the closing. We used the foam mattress topper and the comforters and bedding that we weren’t taking with us to make a little nest for sleeping on the floor of the empty and now cavernous master bedroom. This was the first house I ever owned all by myself…the place Sadie came to live with me and made it a home…the memories were endless. We curled up on the floor, set the lone remaining television on timer, and went to sleep for the last time in our home.
In the morning, we gathered up our bed and threw it away, made the final cup of coffee, and walked together to the closing. It seemed appropriate that Sadie go along, although I was disappointed that her paw print was not required on the official sale documents, she was nonetheless a necessary party to the transaction.
Fast forward to our new residence…a tiny furnished condominium in a complex of many…a balcony overlooking a big pool that will do us no good as dogs aren’t allowed to swim in it, and in the middle of the miniature living room…Sadie’s pennie where she’s always stayed quietly…waiting for me to come home for lunch and then back at the end of the day. It seems though, that more had changed than our location, Sadie was no longer happy in her familiar crate in new surroundings with strange new noises and she wanted to be heard on this matter.
And heard she was…by the neighbors on both sides, the residents above and below, the people on adjoining balconies and those across the courtyard as well as the swimmers in the pool. This most quiet dog, who has never been asked to leave any number of luxury hotels due to even the slightest noise infraction was receiving nasty voicemail messages and threatening notes under the door! The President of the Condo Association once resided in a federal prison so when he said he would “have this dog removed by one of his associates” we were scared.
After determining that the chances of taking Sadie to work with me every day were slim, we searched the Yellow Pages for a suitable Dog Day Care facility and to our incredible luck discovered Camp Critter Creek. Patty Schal has created a sanctuary for animals to stay when you can’t care for them yourself. It was an incredible solution for me and Sadie. Patty and crew operate the day care, boarding, and grooming facility at a lovely location just outside of Charleston.
I called and made arrangements for a tour of Camp Critter Creek. I new almost immediately that this was a place where my little sweet dog could stay until I could make other plans. It was clean…it was bright…and Patty was wearing a LIFE IS GOOD T-shirt…one of our favorites! There were relaxed animals lounging about the office…Patty’s personal menagerie…and a walk through the boarding facilities only confirmed my initial impression…this was a place that my dog would be safe…where she could bark if she wanted…where she wouldn’t be lonely…where she would be treated with love and kindness while I was at work. I made arrangements to take Sadie to the Camp on my way to work and pick her up on my way back. I told her it was just “temporary” as Mom would soon have a new house for her and everything would be the same.
Despite this we were nervous as we packed her tote bag and I was sad, as we left the condo the next morning, but Sadie was overjoyed not to be left behind … scary noises plus a strange environment equated loneliness and fear and what other way for a dog to express this than by barking I did a lot of thinking that first morning as we drove out to the Camp.. What kind of Mom was I to sell Sadie’s house…had I let a good offer overcome my good sense as to what was best for Sadie? How could I manage working fulltime and find time to take a dog to day care every day? What would I do at lunchtime without Sadie to get out and walk and share my lunch hour with?
We arrived and Sadie, though always reluctant to leave me, went off with her caregiver and I went to work…feeling that I’d let her down. At the end of the day, she was her usual self; eager to see me and we bounded out the door and went home hoping the evening would last longer than possible.
I always want to fix things…make them perfect and felt compelled to replace the house and get a place for Sadie where she could stay as before…in her own little world…A TV with Animal Planet on as her company…waiting for me to come home for lunch…waiting for me to come home from work or shopping. So when a house in our neighborhood became available I leaped at the chance and agreed to pay an exorbitant amount of rent because I felt I must correct my wrong move.
The endless moving began again…from the condo to the house…from the storage area to the house…buying new furniture…arranging the pennie in the perfect location with the TV in the basement….and at last showing it to Sadie. I was so proud to have almost duplicated her former surroundings with the new washer and dryer…the treadmill in the same place…the same bed in her pennie. She sniffed it…looked at me…wagged her tail weakly…and went upstairs.
Seems I should have been paying more attention on those morning drop-offs at Camp Critter Creek because something wonderful and quite unexpected had happened as we made out way to the little dog refuge by the creek each morning. Sadie’s whines weren’t in despair at leaving me…they were excitement and eagerness to enter the building. It seems Sadie liked spending her days in the company of dogs and people who like them…her Mom’s perfectionism and need to hang on were needless. Sadie was saying a lot to me by her nonchalance with duplicate house. Things with her were just fine with the new arrangements…she liked the cats at the Camp…she liked the little creatures in the big cage she ran to check out each morning…she was content to run out in the yard for her exercise and get treats…and she wasn’t lonely.
It was time to move on…forget our old big house…stay in the condo…big houses don’t solve things…it takes a bigger heart to live in a smaller place.
Yep, we moved a second time…put things back in storage…wore ourselves out, but the lesson learned was worth it. Sadie and I don’t walk by our old house with longing anymore and I quit crying when I look at it standing silent and dark. People can learn a lot about life and living it from dogs. Change is inevitable and necessary for growth, but it can’t happen while we hang on to the past…time to let go…make new friends…make the best of the moment…they don’t last forever.
So if you see a beautiful dog sitting happily in the passenger seat of a convertible one of these summer mornings in Charleston…its just me and Sadie…going to our day jobs…loving every minute of it.

Dogs, as great as make our lives…they can cause dilemmas to those of us who Love them when we have to trust their care to someone other than ourselves. For example…I hate to travel without Sadie, but when I had a trip that didn’t involve her appearance…purely legal work…I had a decision to make and it wasn’t easy. Leave her at her vet’s here in Charleston? Take her with me and do what with her while I met with clients and attorneys?

It was time to take a cruise down the information highway of the Internet. As I searched through the many advertisements for dog day care in Greenville, SC, my destination, one stood out. Simple…straightforward…long history of being in business…and a great philosophy. VIP….yep…mySadie was a VERY IMPORTANT PET. I made a call to my hotel…they endorsed my selection. I showed Sadie the website and told her that she would get to go along on the business trip with me, butwould have to spend the day at this cool dog club….you know…hang out with other dogs…eat Frosty Paws. She nosed the computer screen and flopped down on the floor in what I took as approval.

Its hard enough to leave Sadie with people I trust…it was darn right frightening to think of leaving her with strangers….until I entered Top Dog. The cheerful employees were only too eager to greet Sadie and me…to show me exactly where she would be spending the day…all the facilities…what she could choose from the treat menu. I checked off several things I thought she’d like and even opted for a bath. After all…she should have a day of pampering! It was clean and bright and it made me feel welcome…and safe. This was a place I could leave my precious dog…with little anxiety.

I was able to go meet my clients…get through the meeting…went shopping and enjoyed lunch. At the end of the day we went back to Top Dog to get Sadie. It was just as I had seen it the morning earlier..clean…well organized…nice people. I picked out a new flowered collar and leash for Sadie while I waited for her to be brought out…I paid her bill…( she had not made any unauthorized charges) I heard her bark when she recognized my voice…and then the door opened and the fluffiest Sadie I have ever seen came like a rocket straight to me.

It wasn’t WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN kind of greeting it was…HEY LOOK AT ME! I HAVE HAD SUCH A GREAT DAY AND DON’T I LOOK PRETTY! And pretty she was…and happy.

People like the owners of Top Dog do more than run a business…its clear they have a mission and people like me and dogs like Sadie are the benefactors of their vision and dreams.THANK YOU TOP DOG! Sadie can’t wait to come back…I’ve never left her anywhere with less anxiety and no disappointment at all when I came to get her.

Sadie and I bounded out the door and into the car with my clients. They all began sniffing the air…just like Sadie always does…Pam said…”Hey…she really smells good…she smells better then we do!” And she did.

If you are in Greenville and need great, safe, fun, competent care for your dog from loving professionals…you can’t beat TOP DOG…they truly are top notch.

Sadie and I sold our house. It was a good deal even though perhaps sooner than we would have preferred. And little did we know…that renting a place that welcomes dogs in Charleston, WV is starting to seem darn near impossible. This town is one unfriendly city for canines.
Almost every rental ad…be it apartment or condo…starts or ends with NO PETS. Just like that…capital letters…and more often than not BOLD as well.
Even in the condo complex where we are temporarily staying…its doggone unfriendly. The Top Dog here…A guy named Bill has threatened both Sadie and me. You see…it seems no one understands that Sadie…and me …need a little time to get used to being out of our big dog house into a much smaller one where the halls and parking lots are shared with lots of other humans and a few dogs too.
Mr. Ellis says “that dog has to go” and threatened to call the Humane Society on us as well as another entity he referred to as “one of my other compacts.” Now what that is, we don’t know, but it sure scared us knowing that Mr. Ells spent several years as the guest of the Federal Prison system. No telling what kind of “compact” he meant.
So Sadie no longer barks on occasion to express her loneliness from the small condo we are at…she goes to day care where she is safe and welcome. I don’t have to come home from work scared that Mr. Ellis has gotten one of his cronies to take her away or
worse.
If there were an “Un-humane”" society to call…we’s do it. Threatening people or dogs is not nice…throwing your considerable weight around…again…not nice. And who moves into a building expecting absolute quiet during normal daytime hours? Hey…Sadie gets scared when she hears people in this complex slam their sliding doors shut…it sounds like thunder…or the dog next door barking…or the loud talking in the pool area. Who is she supposed to call to complain?
But then again, according to Bill, Sadie and I have no rights here even though we are the INVITED guests of a long time condo OWNER. I guess I’ve never lived anywhere with no rights and neither has Sadie…she even had rights for the few weeks she lived at the dog shelter…and then she came home to live with me in the big house that became a home with her there…she misses it…I miss it…after all this was the only “dog house” Sadie has ever known and she had never met even one person that has treated her Mom or her so downright mean as Mr. Bill Ellis.
But…Sadie and I go on with things. She goes to Camp Critter Creek every day where she is treated with kindness and respect…where she gets to run in and out and has other dogs and cats to talk to. Where she is not lonely in an atmosphere of bad karma and people who take their unhappiness out by complaining. My lunches now, however are lonely…I don’t get to come home and walk out in the fresh air with her or share my lunch…but we hope its only temporary.
So Sadie and I searching for a new dog house…we want something smaller this time as we got tired taking care of a great big one. And we’ll find one…as we say onward and upward…and you know…before we know it …we will have our house near the ocean…the one Sadie and I talk about with the screened porch…and we’ll chase birds…and people who are mean seem to get their own sort of consequences. Sadie’s tail still wags…we still laugh and run after squirrels…and we feel sorry for people whose demeanors are off kilter and disturbed by a few barks…who retaliate with mean words and nasty threats. Too bad…life’s short…try a little kindness.

It was going to be a routine drive…just me and Sadie cruising down the highway on a beautiful Sunday to Greenville, South Carolina. You know the kind I’m talking about…when you want to call every single person in your cell phone directory just to break the monotony. That’s the bad thing about driving off early on a Sunday…everyone is sleeping.

We stopped for a fill-up and a Red Bull and while idling at the cashier stand plastered with lottery advertisements, I asked…”Hey, did anyone win the big Powerball last night.”

“They sure did,” the clerk lazily replied in her very southern twang, “someone up there in West Virginie won, but they ain’t come forward yet.”

Suddenly I was more alert than an entire case of Red Bulls would enable me to be and I asked her to repeat it…seems she was certain…someone in West Virginia could right now be sitting on a fortune phone…. Hold on a moment…hey…that someone could be me! I was from West Virginia! I had a dozen tickets for that game securely sitting in my lingerie drawer (I keep everything special in the lingerie drawer).

I ran back to the car and excitedly relayed the news to Sadie who couldn’t stop licking my face. Well, even when I return to the car after being in plain sight pumping gas, Sadie always licks me like I’ve just returned from a far off land, so that didn’t mean anything, but I felt FOR SURE…this was it.

Despite the early hour, I called Rodney. Nope, he had not heard anything about this while sleeping,but would get right on it when he got up…no deal…get up…I needed him to run to his computer and get on the lottery website and tell me WHERE the ticket had been sold. Of course, thats right when I lost cell service as I traversed through the North Carolina Mountains.

But lack of confirmation as to the location of the ticket sale was no hindrance to immediately begin spending my new found riches.

I knew that right away, I’d call the Westin Oceanfront Resort at Hilton Head, South Carolina. I’d reserve all the rooms on the top floor directly facing the ocean. This is the most favorite hotel of me and Sadie…they know how to treat dogs and people splendidly.

I’d hire one of their personal trainers and get going on a new round of DOGERCISE and more. Rodney could sit on the balcony looking up and down the beach to his heart’s content.Id get him the best nicotine addiction expert in the country to end that horrible habit once and for all and help him get healthier. Sadie and I would order healthy room service meals and desserts too. We’d run those calories off on the beach; we’d shop at all the wonderful shops on the island.

While at Hilton Head, Rodney and Sadie and I would make a list of all the people we’d do good things for. My Mom and Dad, Jeremy and Sarah- my niece and nephew, Rodney’ sister Jan and her husband, friends we’ve treasured over the years.

We’d build a new facility in West Virginia for homeless dogs like Sadie once was…a no-kill resort for dogs and other animals that would be light and airy and have the best medical care available. A big endowment to the Virgina Tech School of Veterinary Medicind and the Hurricane Animal Hospital (they saved Sadie’s life) and the Humane Society of the United States, Tails of Joy in Hartford, Connecticut and many other worthy animal organizations that always have way more needs for animals than moneyfrom people. We’d call our place the Sadie Sanctuary where people could take the trip of their lifetime to and return with a forever friend.

I’d fly in a real estate consultant for the Caribbean. I could see the house now…perched clifftop…360 degree views of the Caribbean Sea…infinity edge swimming pool…gym….spa room….jacuzzis everywhere…high tech kitchen….office for writing that is an outdoor gazebo easily opened up to the sea air and closed with shutters and glass when weather demanded it.

Plush cushions everywhere for Sadie to lounge on at her heart’s content. A separate sub zero refrigerator just for Sadie which she would fill with treats. And we’d have a dozen or so brothers and sisters for Sadie to share her new home and abundance with. All of us would jump in our open air Land Rover and drive to the beach every day and frolic and chase balls and sea birds.

We’d have a view from this house through our telescope of our large catamaran in the harbor below. Every so often we’d load up the boat and go exploring…all the dogs could come along as well.

And on and on it went as I pictured a be-ribboned car carrier pulling into my family’s driveway…my Mom walking through a new kitchen…handing over keys to people who deserved a home of thier own…a private jet…until we pulled into Greenville and checked into the Westin Poinsette where Sadie was given a greeting befitting all polite canine guests and we were most pleased with our beautiful room.

Greenville is a wonderful dog friendly town…with many dogs and their parents enjoying the splendid weather and the early Sunday evening walkabout. We window shopped…we pondered what else we would do with all our money. Missy, one of our hotel clerks had recommended we try Larkins on the River for dinner. It had a scrumptious menu and an outdoor seating area where Sadie and I might enjoy the setting sun and evening meal together. She was right. Larkins was wonderful. I had the Shrimp and Grits and Sadie had a hamburger. I offered her a hamburger from the kids menu never dreaming it was going to be a Kobe Beef burger that smelled so good I confess, I had to take a bite first. I also told her she could get used to this after we collected our lottery money…after all the burger was $11….quite a large treat for my dog who is most content to use her McDonald’s gift card to pay for her $.99 plain double hamburgers at Ronald’s House. But what the heck…we could afford it now, right?

The dream ended Sunday night when Rodney told us the ticket had been sold in a city about 200 miles away from Charleston…not where we had bought our tickets. Oh well…easy come…easy go…isn’t that what they say? But as Sadie and I settled into our Westin Heavenly Bed…comfortable…warm…grateful for a safe journey….the flight of fancy we’d embarked on was over….but our dreams….they continue.

Thoreau once said…”there is nothing wrong with building castles in the air, that is where they belong. Now, put foundations under them.” A good lesson for all of us…dream on…keep working.

As I watched Sadie walk out of the living room last night, I got up and followed her. EEEK! She definitely looks different…How could this happen…is it possible I’ve been such a bad influence that this sweet dog that inspired me to lose 30 pounds has adopted my habits and now has to lose 5 pounds herself? Yep…sad to say its true.

Sadie has developed into a treat addicted pooch and I sadly admit its my fault. She’s seen me reach for chocolate too many times…heard me say “I deserve this” concerning any number of calorie laden dinners and snacks…and she’s been perched right on the console as I broke every one of my rules and cruised through the fat food (not a spelling mistake!) lanes of every imaginable edible creations. And she’s been the reason to celebrate oh so many times and right or wrong…we’re like everyone else…we most often rejoiced with food.

Why does happy have to lead to flabby? Of course there are lots of excuses available to us. After all, the beginning of December I went back to work full time. This left less time for us to DOGERCISE, more time for me to sit at a desk all day and for Sadie to lounge about her crate keeping up with all the shows on Animal Planet. And then…to make the most of our limited time together these days and to ward off the cold weather…we eat!

I find it quite embarrassing to contemplate the size we have both achieved and with spring right around the corner…we’re snapping out of the food fog…getting back on track and off the gravy train. And to encourage all of you…here’s some advice.

1. All of us want the ONE DAY diet…you know…just keep it together for one day…and you’ll be back in those jeans…not going to happen. In Sadie’s case, she has several snazzy collars that don’t pass the two ginger test..you know…should be able to get two fingers between her neck and the collar…and as for me…forget the fork zipper scheme…very few forks remain in the kitchen with unbent tines.

2. A steady and healthy approach is best…dust off the salad box…get the walking shoes out from under the bed and get rid of all the macaroni and cheese ingredients in the house. I think macaroni and cheese should be on the food pyramid, but it does have consequences…and they’re not invisible!

3. Give all the snacks to the neighborhood kids who’s great metabolism will burn them off before they even get back home.

4. Hungry? Make a cup of tea. Dog begging for treats? Have a fun game of tennis ball or Mr. Squirrel or whatever her favorite toy is.

5. Bored…take inventory of all the clothes that don’t fit you presently.

Sadie had plopped her plump self right in front of the kitchen island which is like a bank vault for dogs…its filled with every delicious treat she likes…with the DOGSWELL treats being on the platinum shelf, but, everything in there is edible therefore to Sadie is great. A lot like the chocolate stash drawer I have next to my bed.

Hey…all you dog Mom’s and Dad’s know its near impossible to deny a treat to the best dog in the world sitting before you with those entreating beautiful eyes fixed on you? Its harder than not eating that ice cream in the freezer…well its a close tie anyway. BUT…we must shake off these needless, although delicious indulgences and find enthusiasm and joy in other things. I find it so easy to just hand over a treat because it makes her momentarily happy and then find myself reaching furtively for the drawer of my own decadent treats when I think Sadie is watching television at the bottom of the bed. Happiness has nothing to do with hunger…and most of us really know nothing of real hunger anyway…we just want to eat when we see something we like or think we need . I learned this lesson before, but how easy it was to forget.

Dilemma! Decisions! We did this once, we can do it again. Not a lot of progress since we confessed our inflated conditions the first of this month…but hope is alive and well in our little basement gym and on our path by the river. Keep tuned!

Hey! Are you having your own winter weight worries? E-mail your stories to us at thedogdiet@aol.com We want to create a page on the website for stories of sliding back into weight gain…and all the creative excuse that got us there, and the inspiration that pulled us out! Have a doglightful day dogercising and a delicious, but not decadent diet!

My dentist warned me before Sadie and I left on our book tour…”Don’t let everyone wine and dine you now that you’ve gotten in such great shape.” His words went unheeded. In every city, on every road trip, we conspicuously ignored Dr. Burgess’s good and well intended advice.
Both of us are very guilty of total and indifferent overindulgences during our travels for the past two years. We devoured the contents of gift baskets, ordered indiscriminately when someone else was picking up the tab and urged us on to have dessert. Okay…even when there wasn’t any actual urging…we ate on.
Through Philadelphia cheesteaks…homemade cookies…chocolate beyond any imagination…party food…breakfast buffetts…lunches at sidewalk cafes…and oh…the late night room service. It was as if I forgot everything I’d ever learned about dieting from my dog who was most happy to pig out right along with me.
In Florida our hotel was right next to a fabulous barbecue restaurant. At Hilton Head we lounged on the ocean front balcony with every imaginable delicacy at our beck and call with the a mere touch of the phone from the hotels 24/7 gourmet menu.
In New York, I was on my own solo Sadie, but being the good dog Mom that I am, of course I ate enough for two. Sadie and I, being the epitome of good manners are never ones to shun the fare our hosts provide for us, and now…it has caught up with us.
The bad thing about writing a book with the word “diet” in the title is that certain expectations concerning your appearance come with any appearance you make on behalf of it…forever. And for better or worse…every single event where we are invited to talk about our book or appear involves FOOD of some type.
Last week I spoke at a luncheon at a church here in Charleston. Now not only are these people the friendliest folks I might have ever met…theya re also masters a good old down home comfort food cooking. Naturally, it being winter here in frigid West Virginia…comfort food is always needed. And despite my best resolutions driving to the luncheon, I had seconds AND I left with food for Sadie…and for me.
Yesterday the sun was shining and Sadie I and decided to get back on track. It was difficult to tell if I was walking my dog or my out of shape stomach, but onward and upward is our motto and we persevered for four miles. Now, not only will I not take the blame for my inflated condition, I will let you know that Sadie has committed many food crime herself these past several months of gluttonous eating, the least not being stealing an entire chicken breast from the kitchen counter.
This was pointed out to her recently at a visit to her vet…we of course will NOT reveal our numbers, but they are not good. And since we heard somewhere from someone that for a dog to lose one pound is as hard for a human to lose ten pounds…Sadie and I both have a ways to go.
Of course, its not the end of the world to me anymore, and it never was to Sadie who from puppyhood loved food…all of if. Life is short…and just like no one wants “I wish I’d spent more time at the office” on their tombstone…we know that chocolate is for the living. THe good think about life is that very often we get to learn lessons all over again. So approach spring with a lighter step…that lighter body…it will follow…just leave the cupcakes behind for a little while. As for me explaining how the pounds I lost in the book came back…this my friend is a story EVERYONE can relate to!

I doubt there is a person alive that hasn’t endured a holiday celebration with an “outsider”…a person dragged to the event by a sibling or two that everyone is forced to make nice to…just because its Christmas or Thanksgiving. And even though in private we might say to the offending invitor…”WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?”…we smile and pass the gravy at the dining table…hopefully waiting to express our disdain, disbelief, and comedic comments until later. I admit…I’ve been guilty of this indiscretion on more than one occasion. Heck, I even married the one that was inebriated at my family’s Christmas dinner rambling on and on about Chinese food for reasons still unknown.
We’ve had those with criminal records grace our holiday gatherings, those who talked on and on, those anxious to please bearing gifts unwanted and misunderstood. We had a guy (again thanks to me) who was a piano player and entertained us all by drumming a little tune on his toast, a guest whose dentures clicked at each and every bite that tested the composure of every one of my brothers and sisters, a brother’s girlfriend who arrived in bib overalls who obviously had not told of my Mom’s strict “Sunday clothes policy” at our festive eateries, various clergy who made us all sit in guilty silence instead of pigging out on the treats before us, and even ex-spouses my Mom felt sorry for which really made for an interesting meal. Try dodging those poorly disguised “it was all your fault” barbs in between courses and see what revenge eating is all about!
Until this year though, I thought this was only a human dilemma…then Kiki came to my house for Thanksgiving dinner and all the protocol of years being gracious to perhaps ungracious guests was ignored in many overt actions…from my dog Sadie. You see, Kiki is the newest member of the extended Lawson Family…Kiki is a very small Pomeranian Puppy and Sadie was a most ungracious hostess.
Sadie had met Kiki the last time we visited in Pennsylvania, but like a good guest since she was in Kiki’s home, she just avoided her. In playful puppy mode, Kiki had bit at the long hair covering Sadie’s paws, and Sadie jumped backward at each nibble. She did did not snap at the small puppy, instead she hid behind me at every chance. This was different though in dog ettiquitte…Kiki was now on Sadie’s turf and she was doing everything she could to express her displeasure.
Sadie initially eyed the small dog prancing into the house with wild disbelief…running behind me…sniffing the small puppy as if to confirm she was real…whining…slinking off to her bed and pouting. Sadie sulked while I gave Kiki a bath in the basement paint sink…Sadie’s bathtub no less…she stood watch as I used the scented shampoo she’s never shared (except with me) and grabbed the corner of her towel I was using to dry the midget mutt. It was hilarious to me, but sadly serious to Sadie. The final straw was when the little guest ran into Sadie’s kennel which suddenly looked gigantic. A pennie for a 30 pound dog is an entire country for a one pound fur ball. As Kiki ran around on the soft mattress.. rolled and reveled the spaciousness of her new kingdom, Sadie whined and pawed at the door of the kennel until Kiki ran out and Sadie dashed in. Ha…a dog I have to coax with gourmet treats to enter this pen was in and she was not leaving and she definitely was not sharing her space.
It was even worse at mealtime. I prepared a small dish of food for Kiki…after all Sadie has a huge sack of food and could certainly spare a small amount, but she didn’t see it that way. She hovered over the little dog…begrudging her every tiny morsel…then she sucked up the water in Kiki’s small bowl with a few laps of her tongue just to prove she ruled the kingdom. Its a good thing that Kiki exacted no retaliation…she just sat back and looked at my dog who loomed over her. Sadie was placated with a treat and Kiki’s water was replaced as I guarded it and she drank the entire bowl. Seems she was learning a thing or two from her big cousin…get it while you can!
The jealousy over the dog who came to dinner continued throughout the three days my family visited in our home. But it was Sadie’s attitude toward me that was funny and so out of character that kept everyone’s attention and made us laugh. Sadie obviously blamed me for the appearance of this little dog and was making no effort to disguise her disdain. She sulked away from me…she wouldn’t go outside for her early morning “peester” if Kiki was in the back yard…she retreated to the far end of our large sectional sofa just glaring at me. She offered Mr. Squirrel to my Dad instead of me… stuck close to my Mom…ignored my request to “get your leash” and in general treated me like I had committed some great atrocity against her! The only thing she didn’t reject from me was her dinner. I pointed out to her that I had even roasted her a nice cut of beef taking into account her allergy to poultry, but while she devoured it with gusto, she remained indifferent to me.
As bedtime approached, I noticed her limping and favoring her left paw. Having been through previous paw problems with Sadie…thorns…sprains…I couldn’t ignore this and approached her after she climbed on the couch to examine the seemingly injured paw. Sadie has never liked anyone at all fussing with her paws, ( except of course when I rub the soothing Paw Rub on them that she was gifted with from the Westin Breathe Spa at Hilton Head) often responding with a nip or two in the direction of me or Rodney or her vet, but this time was the most resistance she ever put up. She wriggled…she growled…she snapped the air with her jaws and then she nipped my hand. Not wanting to heap more misery on her, I gave up and decided to look at it in the morning when Rodney could hold her.
She slowly followed me to the bedroom and flopped on the floor in front of the armoire refusing to come into the bathroom for her nightly teeth brushing. I begged, cajoled, and finally threatened and she slowly got up and slinked into the bathroom. Instead of sitting on the rug like she usually does, she got under the sink and refused to open her mouth. It was a struggle, but the task was completed.
I placed the sheet over the comforter as I always do, finished my own bedtime rituals, and climbed into bed. No Sadie. She remained on the floor. I put the television on timer, and before I knew it the sounds of the small puppy woke me up. There was Sadie…curled into a tight ball…at the very edge of the bed’s furtherest corner. I went downstairs to retrieve our tiny guest from her crate and let her go into the backyard…oh how I remember those nocturnal puppy pee sessions with Sadie. Kiki was quick to scamper back to me and I realized Sadie had not even bothered to come downstairs with me.
I placed Kiki back into the crate and returned upstairs to Sadie still in the remote corner of our bed. Sitting next to her I petted her and told her that Kiki was not going to be here forever…that she should know she is the dog of my life…my sweet little dog daughter that no one can ever replace and that I loved her. With a kiss on the top of her head, I climbed back under the covers, put the TV on timer, and prepared to grab a few more hours sleep. In the light of the television I saw that Sadie had uncurled from her tight little ball, was lying with her head up as if contemplating what I’d said to her. After a few minutes of looking toward the window in deep thought, she scooched up the bed and flopped right nest to my legs…and then I felt her head on my leg and heard her sigh…it was one of contentment if not apology.
So dogs and people alike in many ways. We all need some reassurance sometimes, we also have to put up with guests that perhaps we would rather stayed home…its good to be gracious…its hard to share sometimes…its all part of being human…or canine as the case might me.
Kiki left before we knew it…she was gifted with some treats…a Christmas Scarf hand made by me and Sadie…a new collar and leash…and we hope some warm feelings of hospitality even though part of it was reluctant from one of us. I cried as the van carrying Kiki left our driveway because my parents were also in the vehicle and the time just flew while they were here. So many holdiays…so many memories…so much laughter and fun…now though it seems like so little time. But for this year…we are grateful for the time we have and the comfort and fellowship that only comes from family. One of us though is even more grateful that her first holiday dinner guest is gone.
Oh…Sadie’s feelings were back to normal in a snap and that injured paw…nonexistent…seems Sadie is quite the maniuplator…if she needed my attention for a hurt paw…then perhaps I’d have no time for the interloper. If I’m lucky enough to have my family here for Christmas, maybe they’ll bring one of the larger dogs…see how Sadie handles that one!

FOR LOVE OR MONEY DOGS

A friend of mine sent an e-mail today asking me if I’d heard of a certain woman in New York city who aspires to be the next “Martha Stewart of Dogs” I wasn’t sure if this woman had committed some sort of canine crime and was serving time or if she was selling a line of custom high thread- count sheet covers for dog kennel beds. Turns out neither were the case. She’s using her dog to garner attention from celebrities to herself and in turn support herself in a style that she loves and purports that any dog would love. Something she’s done for a long time. This friend proposed that I should “partner-up” with this women in order to sell more copies of my book, THE DOG DIET, A Memoir. No, thank you very much, this is not the world that Sadie and I live in…read our subtitle…”what my dog taught me…” not what my dog earned me.
Did Sadie and I ever set out to become rich from writing a book? No, and a good thing that is because we have not been disappointed! However, at each and every book event, whether in New York City, or Nitro, West Virginia, we have been delighted to meet regular people who allowed a dog to rescue them by taking a simple trip to a shelter and brought home a best friend for life. We were not interested in glomming on to some celebrity whose handlers take care of the dogs every real and imagined need, and when in the company of the star owner, are held captive in the latest bejeweled designer bag in places that are the last environment in the world a dog would enjoy.
When I was approached by a large company that sponsors great shows for women and offered a chance to bring Sadie and speak at these events I made it clear. IF at the first event I realized that Sadie was uncomfortable, scared by the noises and crowd, then she would not be attending the others. IF any part of the traveling or accommodations didn’t allow her time for exercise and dog stuff, she would stay at her boarding camp and a large poster of my beautiful pal would have to suffice.
Turns out, Sadie was a natural star herself. She loved the people she met, she was the reason the hotel (one I’d stayed at many times before with NO upgrade) switched our room to a lovely large suite. She was the reason when we checked in we were greeted with a gift basket of dog treats and bottles of water and directions to the local dog park as well as maps for great dog walks in the city and restaurants where she would be welcome to dine outdoors with me. And the thing about Sadie is that she just loves to be with me.
We employ no dog handlers at our home, no walkers, no gourmet chefs, no dog dental hygienists, and no daycare. We are a team of two, eating together, dogercising each day, watching birds and chasing squirrels. Sadie goes to work with me…down the hall to our home office where she has a loveseat in front of a window with a power line outside that squirrels traverse— frequently pausing to taunt her. She watches out the window to the neighbor’s yard and when the dogs next door come out, she runs to the kitchen door…it’s her morning break so to speak. She like all those workers we see smoking outside of office buildings, has to get out and get the latest gossip from her canine cronies.
One of this woman’s projects that will soon be for sale (can’t wait) is a MUTT MAKEOVER! What this entails is beyond me, but I know this…the only living creature needing a makeover when I was lucky enough to get Sadie to agree to come live with me was ME. She was perfect in every way as most dogs are when they are loved, trained properly, and integrated into a person’s life. Why does a dog need a makeover? What fun is that for them?
Celebrities all too often see dogs as mere accessories. I have seen the video clip way too many times of Brittany Spears in the midst of a crowded, noisy dance floor clutching a very tiny shaking Chihuahua puppy. Think that dog asked to be there or was licking its little chops waiting for a dogtini?
And Paris Hilton surely singlehandley caused the stampede of young girls to get out and get the smallest dog they can find and sling it over their shoulder in a knock-off designer bag to look cool. This celebrity animal accessory craze in my opinion is also responsible for the huge problem with small dogs being bred in puppy mills, sold at exorbitant prices, being dumped at shelters when they inevitably become sick. WHAT ABOUT THE DOG?
Now I am not condeming all celebrities…there are many, many stars and public figures who do wonderful things for dogs, share their lives with dogs, raise money for dogs, and present a great example of how dogs should be loved and be cared for. Bernadette Peters and Mary Tyler Moore started the absolutely wonderful BROADWAY BARKS held in NYC each July where dogs are adopted and big bucks are raised for shelter dogs. Its a fact of life that when a celebrity lends his or her name to an event, it is more successful…I just hope it’s celebs who really love and take care of their dogs. As for this woman’s icon…Martha Stewart seems to be an absolutely perfect Dog Mom. She exihbits a genuine love for her dogs and for that matter all her animals. They live in environments that are confortable for them and the bond between them and their Domestic Diva Mom seems quite real. Its the irresponsible celebrities whose dogs we see flaunted out in public or peeing on the floor of their mansion on reality shows that give the pairing of celebs and canines a bad rap. Dogs properly trained, not lacking love and affection, don’t do the things we see on these television shows and don’t stare at cameras form the depths of a fancy handbag with little or no joy in their eyes.
This after all is America and free enterprise is one of the wonderful benefits of living here. It just makes me madder than I can express when this need to be seen, need to rub shoulders with those we perceive as the rich and famous, need to move up from the have category to the have-more category involves innocent living creatures.
My dog Sadie, who some may refer to as a mutt, never needed a makeover, but she did make over my life. The lessons of love, and patience, and joy we can learn from our dogs are endless. I do believe their happiness and right to live a dog’s life is stifled by enterprises such as this person who garnered an article in Forbes Magazine. Her goal to be the Martha Stewart of the dog world seems both shallow and sad in a world where like it or not, we are at war, people are losing their homes at record numbers, and they need health care. Making over mutts somehow seems very inadequate in such times or anytime at all.
Will dogs go out of style like last season’s Prada bag? Where do the purse puppies go then? When this woman has exhausted all avenues of turning canines into cash cows…then what?
For those of us who know the endless wonder of sharing our lives with our companion animal…thankfully these are questions we will never have to answer about our dogs.

Patti Lawson for
Pittsburgh Boomers

Last week the nation recoiled in shock as every major cable show, sports networks, and newspapers revealed the horrendous details of the indictment of Atlanta Falcons Quarterback Michael Vick and his cronies on numerous charges of animal cruelty stemming from dog fighting at his Virginia home. Of course under our jurisprudence system, Vick is deemed innocent until proven guilty, but the evidence found by federal investigators clearly showed that truly innocent dogs suffered horrendously.

That people earn money often through the mistreatment of animals or even other people is nothing new. Tales of despicable treatment of dogs in puppy mills and people murdered by the hands of those they once loved is rampant today. But dog fighting, the filthy secret torture and slaughter of innocent animals has been cloaked in secrecy. Now that national attention and outrage is suddenly focused on this cruel and sadistic practice, all decent people must take a stand against it and urge that swift justice and punishment come to those found guilty of perpetuating it.

Evidence was abundant at Vick’s estate and seasoned investigators reported they were sickened by the sight of massive amounts of blood and devices used to inflict inordinate suffering on these dogs in the name of training.

After watching one of the cable shows that spared no details in reporting this heinous activity, I found myself unable to sleep. Listening to the rhythmic breathing of my own dear dog Sadie, my heart ached for these animals I never knew. Dogs bred for destruction whose fate was decided before they were born.

Vick’s estate was complete with the small wooden pit used for the dog fights. There is no escape from the pit…or from death for these animals. The fight lasts for hours… until one of the dogs is dead. The survivor is then often hanged, drowned, or electrocuted for failing to become the victor.

I thought of the one time I saw Sadie react to the surly advances of another dog and how frightened she was. Was there a time when these dogs had a chance for such a reaction? Did they ever know any happiness, joy, or even the gentle touch of a human hand?

I reflected on the rituals I’ve established with my dog that insures her care and her trust of me. How each night I tap her toothbrush and say “teeth brushed” and she comes into the bathroom. The report said these dogs teeth were filed to sharp points to make their bite more deadly…and this barbaric act is done without pain prevention. It said these dogs’ jaws are so powerful they can break the jaw of their opponent leaving gaping wounds.

I thought of the “wardrobe” of pretty collars Sadie has hanging at the head of our basement steps…pink with sea shells, royal blue with “diamonds”, and her strand of “pearls” that match mine. The dogs in Vick’s world were forced to wear weighted thick chains to increase the strength of their neck muscles…all the better for attacking you see.

Sadie’s beautiful hair was shining in the television light and I touched its luxurious softness. The words of the reporter ran through my brain…the pit bull owners put ground glass in the dog’s fur prior to a fight…it cuts the gums and mouth of the attacking dog and the painful result was evidenced by the rivers of blood found at the crime scene. I thought of my sweet little dog and how she enjoys eating her food…did these animals ever enjoy a decent meal without pain?

And the repulsive details went on and on, but I could not. What makes people so hungry for and addicted to cruelty and violence? Isn’t there enough sacking and thumping in the football stadium on any given Sunday to satisfy the quarterback? My one experience with the death of a dog due to cruelty was heartbreaking. A dog much like the mother of my dog had been adopted from the local shelter only to be returned so badly beaten that she had to be put out of her suffering.

I took her body to Virginia Tech for a necropsy (dog autopsy) in order to facilitate the prosecution of the hateful man who had killed her. It was a solemn three-hour ride with a dog’s lifeless body in the trunk of my car…a dog that didn’t deserve such an end to its’ life. I brought her to a wonderful facility dedicated to the care and well-being of all animals…even the dead ones. It was a sad return as well, because this was one dog that none of the skilled veterinarians there could help.

I resolved I would not be silent over this atrocity and I relentlessly sought the prosecution of this man. Unfortunately he was arrested on federal drug charges first and taken away before he could be indicted.

People who care for animals are crying out and we all must. Blatant cruelty with no conscience spills over into society in thousands of ways. Don’t look the other way when you see an animal being mistreated. Don’t ignore the obvious…if you know of someone with multiple pit bulls that are vicious and wearing thick chain collars…call the humane office in your community and the police too. Report things that aren’t right such as:

* Dogs tied out in the hot sun for hours with little room to move or water to drink.
* Dogs left in hot cars while their owners shop in air-conditioned comfort.
* Dogs that appears seriously malnourished.
* Dogs that are visibly scared of the person holding their leash.
* Dogs left alone for days with no one caring for them.
* And if you hear of a backyard breeder…someone whose only concern is the profit from endless puppies a dog must bear over and over…turn them in.

I don’t know what the answer to any of these hideous actions is. I do know that we have a fighting chance if we join with organizations like the Humane Society of the United States, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. I know the dogs and other animals don’t have a chance if we look the other way and remain silent.

My sleepless night ended, and as the morning sun came up Sadie gave me that questioning and happy look she does every morning as if to say…”What wonderful thing is going to happen today?” I am saddened beyond measure for all the dogs who never get to ask that question.

DOGS…DIETS…DATING makes no apology for veering of our normal uplifting material this week to expose this evil massacre reportedly participated in across our nation by over 40,000 “professional” dog fighters. SPEAK OUT AGAINST THIS. Next month….we will be back with a story about our happy adventures.

Patti and Sadie Lawson are available for fundraisers to benefit the welfare of animals. Visit their website: www.thedogdiet.com. Watch for their new book in the spring of 2008.

DOGS…DIETS…DATING
PATTI Lawson

TREATED LIKE DOGS AT THE LIBRARY

I developed a love of books early and a trip to our local library was always a wonderful event in my life. That’s why now, whenever Sadie and I are asked to participate in an event at a library, we always say yes. It’s been rewarding seeing the expression on kids face’s when they meet a dog in the library and to hear their dreams of writing. That was until this past Saturday in a small West Virginia town. From now on, I’ll make sure the library REALLY wants a dog there, because if they don’t, then they don’t want me either.

You can learn a lot about hospitality and decorum by watching Sadie and probably most dogs as I learned at this event. Sadie is always the star at our book signings. Ever personable, she kicks it up a notch or two when she is “working.” Everyone stops to see Sadie…beautiful…tail wagging…ready to beg for a stomach scratch at any moment; she’s out front doing her job. But even dogs can sense when they are not welcome and she was not her usual self at this gathering.

When we arrived, there was an area of long white tables set up and most of the authors already seated and smiling. However, we were shown to a table quite a distance away, at the back of the room, with the explanation…”The director felt you’d be more comfortable near the door with HIM.” HIM! Did these people even read the jacket of my book? How could anyone not know SAIDE is a SHE! I politely told the woman that Sadie has probably traveled more than then entire staff put together and would be most comfortable where the other authors were set up.

A table was procured for us and we set up our poster and books. I asked for a bowl of water for Sadie, one of her few requirements while she works. It seemed to cause quite a bit of consternation among the library staff and about 35 minutes later, a plastic container with ONE HALF inch of water was produced with the warning that the “Director” didn’t allow water in the library and didn’t want Sadie to spill it on the carpet. As a matter of fact, we were told that the DIRECTOR was being “generous” and “allowing” the authors to have their own bottles of water today just as a FAVOR. Who would expect people or a dog to sit for four hours with NOTHING to drink?

About an hour into this ordeal, I noticed Sadie. She was lying very still, very flat under my chair and she remained there the entire time except when coaxed out to meet a few people. This event was not well attended and it was no wonder. Who wants to come to a library fraught with such inane rules?

A “reception” was planned afterward for the authors and we noticed some preparations coming together outside in a little courtyard. A staff member came by to tell the authors that the reception was going to begin early and we could go out and have some food, but we could not bring any of it back to our table…and she would “watch” Sadie so I could go. That was the last humiliation….want me…want my dog. We both declined the opportunity to stand out in the hot sun and gobble down some food, opting instead to take our books and come home.

Sadie realized the stress swirling around this place and it was foreign to her. Libraries are places that should foster the love of books….places where you feel free to dream….to reach for the stars… not be afraid of spilling a drop of water on the carpet. I thought of the dozens of book signings where Sadie and I were welcomed, both provided with something to drink and often to eat as well. I had flashbacks of the generosity and love given to us in strange cities where people treated us with kindness and we both relaxed and had a great time. Sadie reacted like most of us do to restrictions and feeling unwelcome…she retreated…she became as invisible as she could possibly be. She couldn’t be herself and that made me very sad. Just when I thought I knew everything about my wonderful, little dog, she amazed me again.

I apologized to Sadie on the way home and promised her I would never take her anywhere again where she wasn’t welcome. We put the top down on the car, cruised through a fast food place and got a couple of hamburgers and some bottled water…which we ate in the car oblivious to the crumbs feeling the freedom of more than just the wind in our faces.

Patti and Sadie Lawson are available for any event that promotes reading, the welfare of animals, and kindness to all creatures.